Events: From The Top Rope!

Living in a small desert town like Indio, we don't get much in the form of entertainment. Hell, we don't even have a freakin' arcade out here. That's ridiculous. Hence why I constantly trek out to Los Angeles to do something on the weekends. Last week, however, was different. The Empire Wrestling Federation, or EWF, made their way to our little hellhole of a town and put on a show of athleticism and strength.

... well, they attempted to, anyways.

My ticket ran me ten bucks. VIP tickets were advertised but when I inquired about upgrading my seat, I was informed that all the VIP section was sold out. Odd, as I had arrived early. I noticed most of the VIP rows were filled with family and friends of the wrestlers, so I was kinda annoyed by that. Anyhow, ten bucks admission got me into the third row. I, of course, had to pick up some nachos and a Coke, which was another three.

I think the VIP ticket issue should've been my first warning that this was a half-assed event. If not that, the location of the event was a dead giveaway: The empty Factory 2-U building nearby our dying sorry excuse for a mall. As the matches progressed, I began to realize this was billed as a Lucha Libre Event, but most of the roster consisted of WWE-hopefuls. I could count the amount of "luchadors" on one hand. The matches that took place also deviated from those advertised on the flyer. Entertainment-wise... you wanna talk cheesy acting? This was Grade A Gouda. The finale was a Battle Royal featuring all the wrestlers that performed that night, pathetically breaking in and out of character the entire time.

The EWF's roster is populated with Triple H and The Rock-wannabes. Mere students of the School of Hard Knocks in San Bernardino. The last good decent wrestler they churned out was "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters, but even he belongs to a generation of WWE wrestlers that no one's watching. With the EWF returning to The Desert on September 26th, the real question is was it worth it? Meh. Ten bucks is nothing to me. I wipe my ass daily with ten bucks on lunch alone. When they do come back, if the price is the same, sure. I'll check 'em out again and see if the roster is any better. If it's any more, I'll sit it out. For those of you expecting some awesome high flying, dragonrana tossing, top rope mayhem: don't hold your breath. This isn't the AAA.